Keeping up with the Joneses

It amazes me how so much pain brings such beauty. This pregnancy by far was very different than Jackson's. Josie brought on more emotions, more sickness, more discomfort, even more doubt and fear towards the end. It's hard to admit your weaknesses and sin, especially when everyone around you tell you it's ok, normal even, to have the feelings I had the last few weeks I carried Josie. Maybe they were normal, but not ok in my book. Without going into detail, I totally felt like I couldn't go another day being pregnant when I visited Dr. Martin on the day I turned 39 weeks. I thought for sure we would schedule an induction date for 40 weeks if not sooner (that day would have been fine with me)! Induction is such a scary term since our aspirations were to have her unmedicated as we did with Jackson. I'm sure Jonathan thought I was out of my mind for even entertaining the idea. Desperation will take you to wild places! I feel like I had lost a lot of trust in my Saviour at that point. I do not know His thoughts or ways, but I am very suspicious that he was making me wait until I was willing to give all things over to Him. Whether that's what He intended or not, that is what happened. Dr. Martin nicely suggested an induction date, but to my extreme disappointment it was for almost 2 weeks later (41 weeks). She stripped my membranes (didn't work the last time, so I wasn't putting much stock in it this time) and we left the office. I was speechless. All I could do was cry. Jonathan wanted to talk, I refused and told him to take me to Target! After walking around and having some shopping therapy ( I love Target) I agreed to go to lunch and discuss my feelings. Without details, I let go of a lot of things that afternoon. Jonathan was a wonderful husband and father and promised to stand behind me in all things. In a very spiritual way, I felt refreshed!! It was at this point that I felt so out of control that only my God could take care of all things, not me. I'm not sure why I believed I had any control at all, it was pregnancy after all!! Stupid me :) I bet there was great laughter in heaven and a sigh of relief that day. Philippians 4:4-9 is the scripture that a wonderful group of women had encouraged me with the day before. I really had to rely on God's truth to get to this point of peace in my heart. I haven't mentioned yet that all afternoon I was having contractions...nothing new since I'd had them for weeks! I ignored them for the most part. I decided not to go to church that night, I really wanted some alone time. Jonathan, Jackson, and my mom headed to church and I sat down to eat dinner alone. Since it was the first time all day I had a quiet moment, I decided to count my contractions. They were coming every 5 min at about 45 sec. long! Again, though, I didn't make a big deal. This had happened before and nothing had come of it. I walked down to my friend Erin's apt. to talk about the day and they slowed down, of course! The evening was nice and the fam. returned from church and we all headed to bed. At 11:30 I decided to count my contractions again before turning the lights out. They had returned to 45 sec/5 min. apart and were more uncomfortable. I suggested to Jonathan that he at least pack his bags. He did reluctantly (not wanting to get excited.) When he was finished I was taking it all more seriously and asked him to finish packing mine! Again, he did without getting excited. I refused to get excited myself even though I was a lot more uncomfortable at this point...afraid they would stop. We decided to call Dr. Martin around 1-1:30 since I needed 4 hours at the hospital to receive some antibiotics before actual delivery. The contractions were now every 5 min./lasting 1 min. each. We arrived at the hospital and checked in at 2:30. I was having to stop with each contraction, unable to walk, and still not believing this was the real thing. Our doula and friend, Ginger, was on her way as well as Dr. Martin and things were progressing quickly at this point. (Ginger was with us when Jackson was born and was so wonderful to agree to attend Josie's birth as well.) Only dilated to a 4 and 50% effaced at 2:30 I was gearing up for a long night in my head, somewhat disappointed that the past few hours hadn't given me more of a head start. Somewhere between 2:30 and 4:30 things happened quickly. I pushed for 3 contractions and at 4:38 Josephine Renee' Jones was born. The music playing at that Speak". How appropriate! They placed her on my chest right away and my long awaited daughter was finally in my arms. She was beautiful and perfect. Finally, pregnancy was over, worth it, but over! She nursed immediately and assured her momma she would be a strong eater! Since the 4 hours didn't happen for my antibiotics, they only gave me one round. Unfortunately Josie paid the price for a quick delivery and had to give up some blood to make sure no infection was present. She handled it like a strong little girl would and it was over quickly. I got a quick shower and they whisked us up to a new room where we would stay until discharge. We finally got some quiet time just the 3 of us to marvel at this new creation God had placed in our lives. It was early morning and unusually quiet for a hospital. What a precious gift to have these moments with Josie. We will never forget them.

A few words on some very important people that were a part of Josie's birth.

First, and most importantly, her Daddy was amazing. I have been so blessed to have such a tender, loving, present husband and father to our children. Once again, Jonathan was a perfect coach who carried me through this "all natural" delivery. He gave me all that I needed and more to withstand the demands of labor. I was never alone and never felt alone. He encouraged me in the weeks before when I was at my lowest points and celebrated with me at the highest points. Words will never do him justice! I love him through and through and never want to experience life without him!

My mom played a huge role for our family over the weeks prior to and after delivery. She came to stay with us the week before Josie was born since I was so uncomfortable and quite discouraged. She also stayed with us for 2 1/2 weeks after Josie arrived. She was truly an extension of my arms and my heart in providing for my family. She cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped, stocked my freezer, did laundry, loved Jackson and took total care of him in every way. She allowed me to have some refreshing time on my own, and to love my son without the physical demands of caring for a 2 year old! Jonathan and I were able to go on several dates that week with plenty of time to connect before life took on a totally different look. I was able to recover from birth and bond with both of my children in a very special way in the weeks following. My mom was a true servant of the Lord and again words cannot express my love for her in just terms.

Ginger, our nurse who attended the delivery became such a great friend after Jackson's birth and during the months of my pregnancy. She was our nurse during Jackson's delivery and totally carried us through! Jonathan and I both feel that God placed her in that role 2 years ago and we knew we didn't want to do this again without her. Some things are just so perfect that trying to repeat them sounds like the right thing to do. We asked and she accepted. There were crucial moments during both of my deliveries where I needed someone in my face, looking into my eyes, telling me I could finish this. Her eyes and her words were the ones I needed, the ones I believe God intended for me to have. I don't think it's possible to go through such a life altering experience without developing a bond with the people who are with you. Ginger helped make my natural delivery a possibility and our family will always hold her in a special place in our hearts.

Our doctor, Dr. Martin, was a delight even in the wee hours of the night. How blessed we are to have had our doctor actually attend both deliveries! So many times women build a relationship with a doctor for 9 months and then labor with a different one. She was strong, assertive, and caring with Jonathan and I both through this pregnancy. We also felt like God placed us in her care and we were so grateful to place our trust in her for the care of Josie and myself. We had complete confidence in her decisions for our care....even when she did say I had to wait until 41 weeks before inducing! I told her after delivery that she scared me into labor when she set that induction date for 8 days past my due date ! :)

Wow, what a long story! Guess you can see why it took me so long to publish! You can thank Uncle Jake for babysitting and giving me some time to finish :). Now we move on in life, grateful for a wonderful experience to kick off a wonderful life with 4 instead of 3. Jonathan and I love our children and love every moment we are given with them. They are a joy to watch grow and develop into beautiful creations from our Lord. We are so blessed!